When you first see/meet someone, you are going to make judgements & assumptions, based on all kinds of things-- context, social norms, visual cues, clothing. This is a natural thing that your brain does, & it is an important function because your brain needs some idea of what to expect so it can prepare an appropriate response. You are then going to process these initial ideas through your own personal value system. That's also a good thing, because you need to know where you stand on things & not be a robot. (No offense to robots.)
The thing that becomes a problem is when your judgements & assumptions are wrong. How do you handle that? Do you even notice? Or do you continue your relationship with that person in a way that tries to fit them into an unsuitable mold?
You & the people around you will be happiest when each of you is allowed to pursue the best version of his/her own self. Just because you love being married doesn't mean everyone should get married. Just because you love to read doesn't mean that everyone should spend all of their spare time reading. Your high regard for people who are a certain way doesn't mean you should invalidate people who aren't.
You don't need to feel bad for people who are different than you... & you shouldn't feel bad for being different than others.
I spent years of my life struggling with whether or not I should be more "like the others". More girly? More outgoing? More outdoorsy? More smart? Less smart? Less outdoorsy? Less outgoing? (--nope, never had the problem of being too girly.) I've been too quiet, too overbearing, too picky, not assertive enough, not trendy enough, not social enough.
Some things always ring true-- you can't please everyone. Not because you aren't good enough, but because everyone is going to have different ideas. You know that in your head, let it sink in.
Don't set yourself up for failure by caving in to what you know isn't for you.
Set others free from the preconceptions into which you've locked them.
