You might be familiar with the concept of the five love languages. In his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, Gary Chapman expresses that they are: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, & gifts. Basically, his point is that different people value these different things to different extents, so in order to best love someone you need to find out which they value most & use those to demonstrate your affections.
Which is all well & good.
But the more I live life, the more I try to love & be loved, the more I crave love... the more I think it's both more & less complicated than that.
I really just like to know that someone thought of me. & I try to apply that to how I love others, more than any particular 'language'. Even within each language Gary Chapman lists, I find I have a whole range of feelings-- I adore hugs (from most people anyway), but I don't always like to be touched. Some gifts are super generic & don't make me feel much of anything, but sometimes the simplest tiny gift can express a lot. Some words of affirmation are just tossed about, & some are from the heart.
If you love someone, you'll pay attention to them. That's the root. You defer to their whims, you study their tastes, you listen when they talk. You learn to notice when they're stressed out, & how to help them relax. You see when they did something that was hard for them, & you encourage them. You figure out their sense of humor. You stand up for them. You let them go first. You give them the bigger slice.
To use a personal example... I've learned that my husband likes to be given opportunity to be spontaneous. So sometimes I try to analyze if he could use an evening out of the house, & just spring on him with "let's go out", & give him total control of where we go & what we do. I think it makes him feel trusted, & that his opinions are valued. On the other hand, I like to have things planned out in advance. That makes me feel like someone cared enough about me to think through all of the details. So my husband can show me love by thinking ahead, plotting out what I might like.
I'm not writing to totally discount the Love Languages concept, but I do want to encourage us all to not put love in a box. Use all of the languages, & learn new ones. Love people any way you can, & try to see the love in what people do for you.
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Bonus! Some of my 'other' love languages, off the top of my head:
-food
-80s references
-book recommendations
-compliments on my house
-questions about my life & my opinions
-involving me in your life by letting me help with something or just venting to me about a problem
-not interrupting me
