COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. We've all heard it. BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE. APPRECIATE THE LITTLE THINGS.
There's nothing wrong with that sentiment, at all. It can work great to distract you from a problem, help provide some perspective outside of whatever negative thing had your focus. Can't fault that!
Yet... it doesn't seem to actually instill lasting good feelings. At least when I do it, it's almost like chastising. & it feels like it needs to be Big Noble Things, y'know? At least you have your health, or your family, or a roof over your head, or live in a free country.
Those are all good things. I try to not take for granted things like my magnificent husband, supportive friends, five functional senses...
...but I want to tell you about something else I've been trying. I'm tired of limiting myself to only appreciating the big things, & that sometimes only when something else is stressing me out. & this is going to sound SO SIMPLE, SO OBVIOUS, but that's part of what I like about it. Makes it an easy mindset to adopt.
Y'know that feeling you get when you buy something special for yourself? You're thinking that you deserve this treat, & you feel all satisfied, full of warm fuzzy feelings? Because that thing is super cool. & it is YOURS NOW.
Or when someone gives you a gift? It was so nice of them to think of you, & you were so thankful for that groovy thing, it really suits your tastes & you'll always remember their generosity.
Or that memento you have from that special occasion? Photographs, art, something you made, something you found...
The point is, you can probably take a look around anywhere in your home & realize there's so much special there, once you remember why you have it.
Once you've bought something nice for yourself, it's still the same nice thing years later. The thoughtfulness that someone put into a present for you can still make you feel special. Anything you liked... keep liking it!
I know I've been guilty of buying myself a new book, or a mug, or a record, or a dinosaur plushie... & then not really giving it much thought once I get it home. Gifts & trinkets, evidences of love & good times, are everywhere in my house, & I go through my days pretty much ignoring them.
So now... I just allow myself to think for an extra moment. For example, when I sit on my couch, I'm right by a large plush lion. I saw him in Target one day, when I'd walked there from our old apartment on some errand or another. He was on clearance, & I adored him immediately, but didn't give in to the temptation to purchase him for myself. But after I was home, I kept thinking about him, he was the LAST ONE, I talked to my mom & my husband about it, & they both suggested I go back & acquire him. After all of that, why shouldn't that lion still make me happy? Sooooo many things around me have some sort of story. Those stories restore the value to things. & once I've remembered the story, there are even usually things about the inherent features of the thing that I appreciate. That lion is so soft & comfy. He's perfect for my sofa. He provides just the right amount of support, without too much stiffness. But it's not about appreciating "STUFF". It's not about hoarding things. It's about recalling why you have stuff. If you're going to hang onto something & give it a place in the finite space you have, it should be a joy to you somehow. You shouldn't have to limit your thankfulness to Big Broad Things. If you have a thing for a reason, hang on to that reason, let it make you happy. Let it make you thankful for something about your life. Let it remind you of something good about yourself. It may be just a little thing, but it's there for you.
I've noticed that there are other benefits to making this a habit, too. By noticing the good books/movies/music/games I have, I actually get back to using them, which is relaxing. I feel less tempted to spend money on more things for myself when I can immediately think of so many things I already have that are still great. I'm also more able to notice what in my house doesn't really have a purpose, so I can get rid of pointless excess. Somehow, it almost makes me less attached to just the having of things; when something has been broken or lost or ruined, I've shrugged it off, because there's so much other joy in my life. It really is more about the reason than the object, & creating the habit of mindfulness & thankfulness overall.
What do you think? Do I sound crazy? What around you is still special?
No comments:
Post a Comment